View Full Version : Favourite Stupid Questions
June 10th, 2001, 06:51 PM
And why not :D
Question = Where did you lose it?
Answer = If I knew where I lost it, It wouldn't be damn well lost would it?
June 11th, 2001, 08:55 PM
Most questions I ask are dumb... I don't always engage brain before opening mouth!
Though I got a few messages from people when I got back from Spain the other week, asking if I got back ok... "no, you're speaking to my scattered, burnt remains.. whadda you think!"
Jason of Khem
June 13th, 2001, 10:31 AM
"Do you want fries with that?"
No I want f####### chips. OK!"
June 13th, 2001, 01:02 PM
hahahahahhahahahahahahahaha, Jase that's tooo funny!
June 13th, 2001, 09:28 PM
When you are late being somewhere and the person that you are supposed to meet calls you on the telephone at home and says..."Where are you?"
Gee I don't know where am I? :rolleyes: :rolleyes:
Jason of Khem
June 14th, 2001, 02:18 PM
Deleted by the Self-Censorship police. (also on re-reading it, it was a bit iffy and could have caused offence).
Apologies to all.
<FONT COLOR="#660000" SIZE="1">[ 06-28-2001 03:45 AM: Message edited 1 time, lastly by Jason of Khem ]</font>
June 18th, 2001, 07:17 PM
Strange Car outside mah House... Kid walks past... See's car...
Kid walks back down l8r... Asks me where did that car go?.... What the hell!!!
How in hell should I know!!!
June 19th, 2001, 08:43 AM
The one I like is.....That tattoo on your arm, the one that took 2 hours just on the outline...the one that bled...then scabbed over.....did it hurt CAUSE IT BLOODY HURT.
Or there's the one where your driving in the torrential rain and a motorbike in front of you skids and crashes into a parked car...you stop and go to the mans aid, and whats the first thing you'll say.........errr are you all right :D
June 19th, 2001, 06:41 PM
Jase, you bad boy!
Someone rang my home phone number recently and asked for someone called Chris.... after being told that there is no-one of that name here, he asked "Are you sure...".
And after that, the dumb-arse then rang back two minutes later asking the same thing...
June 25th, 2001, 08:24 AM
Heheh, that's very naughty Jase... Love it!
I've said so many idiotic, outrageous things you probably wouldn't believe me if I told you them all. But one my father teases me about to this day:
What time does the quarter-past bus come?
June 25th, 2001, 10:46 AM
Ok, this one is classic. We've all done it or had it done to us...
Are you asleep?
Yup. Sound asleep, that's why I'm answering you! tongue.gif
June 26th, 2001, 05:26 AM
Way back when I was in the Royal Navy, I used to get asked this stupid Question all the time.....
'Oh your in the Navy, do you know so & so I'm not sure what ship he's on or where he's based but....'
I always politly said that I didn't know him, when realy I wanted to say....
how the hell am I supposed to know him, I know that there's only 200,000 of us but I'm not on speaking terms with all of them :mad:
<FONT COLOR="#660000" SIZE="1">[ 06-26-2001 02:27 AM: Message edited 1 time, lastly by deano ]</font>
June 28th, 2001, 12:12 PM
Does this mean that you don't know Simon Case - he was based on a ship or a boat, could've been a submarine... Now where was it at... Either around the Americas, or around Africa somewhere... Of course if could have been on the Indian sub-continent... I can't quite remember.
Ah well, thought you might have had a number for him... tongue.gif
June 28th, 2001, 04:42 PM
WOW..was that the same Simon Case, who was 4ft 9", with a club left foot, cauliflower ears, one eye in the centre of his forehead and who spoke with a lisp ?
Jason of Khem
June 29th, 2001, 10:29 AM
The following is the World's most stupid question.
I went to the cinema years ago to see Batman 2 with a few work mates.
The ads finished, the lights dimmed, and the film's opening credits and music began to play.
A couple were sat in the row in front and the lad turned round and said to me "OI mate, is this the Batman film?"
Some people! Shooting them would be a waste of a bullet.
Deano - Yeah that's the right Simon Case. Next time you see him, tell him he still owes me a fiver. ;)
June 29th, 2001, 10:36 AM
'Do I need a aerial to use this box that states quite clearly - Digital Television through your aerial...'
Every time I get a call like that (even though it's not my department, can't people hear the bleeding options?) I contemplate making a note of their address and paying them a visit to put them out of my misery...
No, must be a different Simon Case, the one I'm thinking of was 4'8" not 4'9"... Ah well...
June 29th, 2001, 05:04 PM
What A shame I was sure he was the one, then again I did hear he was currently doing a ten year stretch in a Welsh prison for a detestable crime.
The details are a bit sketchy, but I believe frilly knickers, a pot of vaseline and a sheep called Daisy was used by the prosecution in his Court case :eek:
Jason of Khem
June 30th, 2001, 11:09 AM
Another stupid question...
"Excuse me. Is there a B&Q in Stockport?"
"No you plonker! It's S-T-O-C-K-P-O-R-T."
July 3rd, 2001, 11:49 AM
LOL! Had to reply at this thread.. Oie Jase! Not enough coffee yet, so it did take me a bit... no B & Q...heh heh
Question I was asked when I went in for re-injuring a compressed vertebra Saturday..
"Are you in pain? And where is the pain located?"
And people wonder why they are going more for Holistic than modern medicine these days... idiots..
"Are you online?"
Hmm... the Self-Censorship Police... missed that one...
*The Lurker Semi-Returns... be afraid... be very afraid...*
July 6th, 2001, 08:00 PM
I'm from a diddy little village in South Yorkshire, the kind of place where people who are soft in the head want to go on long country walks and that orienteering mallarky...
You'd come across them & they'd invariably ask...
Which way is North?
July 7th, 2001, 05:26 PM
I just got pulled over for speeding a while ago.
The cop walks up to the window and asks, "Did you not see me there buddy?"
Oh yeah...I saw you! I just wanted an effin tickit!! :mad:
August 1st, 2001, 04:27 PM
A classic one from when I was a wee liddle vamp and I'd been a bad boy ;) My mum used to say "Do you want me to slap you?"
Hmmm, yep, oh yes please, really hard around the earhole, or better yet on my backside where it's really gonna sting :rolleyes:
August 2nd, 2001, 06:10 AM
I have been a nurse for 18 years, and often have to perform certain procedures that involve needles and other bodily invasive devices (wicked, maniacal laugh..oops, er, maintain professionalism.) Inevitably, a patient will ask:
"You're not going to hurt me, are you?"
No, of course not. Boring a needle through the flesh in search of a vein is quite pleasurable. A silicone/rubber tube shoved through your urethra and into your bladder will make you want to buy me things. I'm going to thrust this garden hose down your nose, through your esophagus, and into your stomach, then hook you up to a suction machine, and you will see God!
August 2nd, 2001, 01:08 PM
Following Naths train of thought
Police pulls you over:
Police: do you know how fast you where going?
Answer: You tell me, you were the one trying to keep up!
August 18th, 2001, 12:10 AM
Ooh, had to get in on this thread. I work for the local cable tv company, and everyday, after I answer the phone, someone always has to say,
"Are you a real person?" Well, duh!
I usually answer, "Why yes I am, and I am happy to say that no part of me automated". tongue.gif
Vavara the Hag
August 18th, 2001, 04:27 AM
The best one I've had to date was at work too! This girl came into my salon, sat down and said "Can you make me look like Jennnifer Aniston from Friends?"
Before my brain had engaged itself, my mouth had replied.."This is a pair of scissors I'm holding Love, not a magic wand!"
OOPS Heheheh :D
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