Worst Film Ever?

[Exsanguinator]

Ben Stiller in Zoolander plays a male model famous for his pouty look - Blue Steel. It is essentially extracting the urine from talentless hacks who consider a look to be a talent.

You wouldn't get that from a multi-million dollar pay-cheque Hollywood actor.

Oh yes you would!

I was unfortuate enough to watch that Troy thing the other night - not only did they gut the story of elements essential to the narrative - divine intervention, underlying motives, etc - but the actors forgot to act!

You had Brad Pitt doing his version of Blue Steel, rolling his shoulders and giving lots of not-so-meaningful looks. You had Orlando Bloom showing his talents as a pretty boy who isn't old enough to shave yet. Peter O'Toole looked like he was nudged awake before each of his scenes. Sean Bean not bothering to turn up and just phoning in his performance (though it must be said that he was one of the better presences there.)

As for the look of the film - imagine a low-rent PlayStation game where they didn't bother to do a final beauty rendering on the visuals and you're just about there.

There was one saving grace - Brian Cox as Agamemnon, he chewed up the scenery with relish, ketchup, a side-salad, onion rings, chips and a cheese & chive dip.

There we are - my 2 cents! ;)

[JB_Lestat]

I think I have a good rival for The Worst Film Ever -

Ever seen Salem's Lot? I almost feel bad for it; if it were a person, I would pick up a knife and put it out of it's misery...

[ May 20, 2004, 02:34 PM: Message edited by: JB_Lestat ]

[Canker]

I'm hoping for a better Salem's Lot when the remake appears this June on the Television

[The Mad American]

Ever seen Salems Lot 2? Now that is a truly horrble movie, really really bad. I don't think you could intentionally try and make such a bad movie...

But, the new version of Salems lot does look very good. Hope it stands up.

[Helmet Head]

I think thet I myself may have per-chanced upon the "worst movie ever" while surfing Sky movies late on Friday night, I came accross a truly stupid film called Blood Surf, the basic story line is that 2 surfer type dudes invent a new thrill sport where they slash there ankles and race the sharks to the beach.

Not only did it look ridiculous but i just can't honestly beleive that someone would ever give money to the person that came up with this stupid stupid storyline so that they could make a movie out of it.

Oh and there was a giant crocodile in it to, but only because you get hundreds of them off Hawai!!!!

[ May 23, 2004, 08:16 AM: Message edited by: The Helm ]

[The Bloody Lady]

I have a worst one!

damn, can't remember the name, Matthew mc caughenenynenyney...can't spell his name, is it in, its about dragons and it is CRAP CRAP CRAP

pete and i got it on NTL home, so its like getting a video only u don't have to go out of the house

i remember!!!

REIGN OF FIRE....total ludicrous rubbish!

;)

[Rixy]

I had the utter misfortune to watch a complete pile of silage called Deep Core. It makes Reign of Fire look like Oscar material.

[sdkdmd]

I didn't think i would reply to this post because i could not choose one out of the many BAD films i seen.Thank you Rixy for helping me make up my mind.

[Tonka]

Worst film ever must be Van Helsing!. total rubbish. yes some of the effects were ok but other than that it was a barf fest.

[Lord Scorpio]

Originally posted by JB_Lestat:
I think I have a good rival for The Worst Film Ever -

Ever seen Salem's Lot? I almost feel bad for it; if it were a person, I would pick up a knife and put it out of it's misery... Oh yes, Salem's Lot was one of the very few movies I never finished watching. I actually fell asleep. I woke up and the movie was about off so I just turned it off and went to bed. I was excited about the movie after reading the book (great book) but it could not even compare and barely followed the book.

But the absolute totally worst movie I have ever seen was The Howling: New Moon Rising. I like to watch cheesy B horror flicks. I saw this one at the video store so I decided to pick it up. Oh man I could not even watch all of this thing. The entire movie, or atleast the entire part I watched, was just people standing around in a bar telling bad jokes that you have already heard a million times since you were 5. When they weren't telling jokes for no reason what so ever they would cut to a scene of people line dancing to country western music in a dark room with the only light source shining in from an open door. When they finally got around to throwing in something about a werewolf it was not even remotely scary, cheesy, or anything besides sad. I tried to endure it to the end but it was torture that just kept dragging on and on. The plague would be more fun that this movie.

[ September 14, 2005, 09:21 AM: Message edited by: Lord Scorpio ]

[bloody path]

The worst film for me it has to be Donnie darko. I just don't know all whats it all about?

[topol_sheap]

worst film? oh, can't answer that.I've seem so many. I once had to see Hope Floats, it was utter tosh and I wanted to leave the cinema. UNfortunately, I was with someone who wanted to see it. THen I met this guy outside that said it was good to impress his new GF.

[kenny]

Many years ago i took my then girlfriend (now wife) to see A Company of Wolves. What a load of utter nonsense, a complete waste of everybodys time from writer to audience, and everyone else in between.

[ September 15, 2005, 05:03 PM: Message edited by: Kenny ]

[John & Paul]

Got to be Grease 2 for me... What a load of tosh !!!!

[Helmet Head]

Mark dude I think you need to revisit Donnie Darko, it's an excellent film.
It's not genius or anything but it is very good...

[Goth Girl]

Sure I've said this before, but The Nostril Picker has got to be the worst I've ever seen.

Along with the 2 hours of my life I wasted watching Nil By Mouth... pah!

[Tonka]

Heh, no one ever watch Blood Gnome! now thats terrible.

[Sophie]

Escape velocity is the worst science fiction film ever. I only watched that a week ago.

Don't ever buy it. even if someone offers it to you for 50p. it's not worth the money!!

[Rixy]

I had the utter misfortune to watch Oceans 12 the other night on a flight, I'd rather have watched 2 hours of saftey instructions to be honest. Complete and utter garbage.

Mind you I still say Deep Core is the worst ever!

[Helmet Head]

Oh man your so right about Oceans 12 man, never in my life have I seen a write up in a paper get it so spot on...Load of high profile movie stars who think too much of them selves go to europe ponce around looking pretty, trying to be smart and witty and genrally forget to actually make a movie...

[Botch the Mad]

i think that exorcist: the beginning is hands-down the worst film i've ever seen. i think lerpechaun was a stellar film in comparison. god, i hated it.

[Lord Scorpio]

You mean there are people that actually watched Exorcist: The Beginning?

[Dave Black]

We all learn from our mistakes, watched it yes, bought it on dvd ? Hell no. Leprechaun ? Dude you have the right name.

[Rixy]

I just thought of another one - Vampires - Los Muertos. I enjoyed the original Vampire$ film, although the book was better. But this so called sequal was crap, I mean Jon Bon Jovi as a vampire hunter, give me a break.

[Chris Banks]

BATS! (Utter drivel) :mad: :mad: Pile of horse s***
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

‘Bow to Leper Messiah’
Lord Wazzuck the Feckless of Taunton

[John & Paul]

I've said it before and I'll say it again 'Grease 2' was the biggest pile of bat droppings I've ever been witness to. The songs were crap, the acting was crap and the whole experience was unforgettable in a bad way!!!

[Chris Banks]

Dunno what's worse J & P. You, for watching it in the first place, or the film itself! :p
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

‘Bow to Leper Messiah’
Lord Wazzuck the Feckless of Taunton

[John & Paul]

There's an even worse option..... My Mother loved it !!!!!! I was disappointed in her I was speechless!!

[Lord Scorpio]

Grease 2 is proof some sequels should not be made. What were they thinking?? I am not sure I have ever watched the entire movie. Though I still stand my choice for worst movie, The Howling: New Moon Rising. It was like watching a porn without any sex scenes.

[Chris Banks]

Way hay. So we've found the level, have we? :D :D :D.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

‘Bow to Leper Messiah’
Lord Wazzuck the Feckless of Taunton

[Chris Banks]

And just thought of two others, as well. Personal opinion prevails here, but am I the only one who thought that Eraserhead (what in the blue hell was that all about) was a 'WEIRD' film and Basketcase, as well. Sorry, just didn't get those 2 at all :confused:. Being a bloke, I probably didn't grasp the subtle nuances of some underlying dark theme to do with repressed chilhood, or something. I think!! :D
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

‘Bow to Leper Messiah’
Lord Wazzuck the Feckless of Taunton

[Chris Banks]

Now I've seen it! Film called 'Evilspeak' made in 1981. There are no superlatives at all to describe this, let alone adjectives or adverbs. Truly dread. Set in a Military Academy in USA (where else?) where a cadet goes on the revenge trail ny invoking dead spirits. I can't put inot words how crap this film (sic) is. 'Starring ' Clint Howard ( a bit part actor who has had some success) and directed by Eric Weston. Avoid it - like the proverbial plague. Please folks. Cringe, cringe. :( :(
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

‘Bow to Leper Messiah’
Lord Wazzuck the Feckless of Taunton

[joeann2005]

the worst filmfor me was a film in the seventies called trilogy of terror, the 1st 2 films in it were dire to say the least but i;ll admit the 3rd 1 wasn't bad!

live fast , die young & leave a handsome corpse