The Best of the Worst?

[Lady Marie]

What are the worst horror films you've seen?

"Cemetary Man" is a hoot! A young man is caretaker of a cemetary where the dead rise again after 72 hours and have to be shot in the head to be killed permanetly. Great line from the cheesey flick:
"*Chit*, everything is *chit*, everything that isn't *chit* is sleep."

The first "Phantasm" was hilarious after all these years. My best friend's husband still calls after my son with the voice of the undertaker, "Booooyyyyyyyy" My son found it endearing, until we rented the movie. I guess it's scary to an 8 year old.

"Return of the Living Dead 2" was really bad, and the story was situated in my home town of Louisville, KY...which they nuked at the end of the movie. And from the looks of some of my neighbors, I don't think they killed them all....lol

[Nathan]

I saw Dracula 2000 last night and I must say, it wasn't so bad...until the end.

The effects were cool, especially the eyes and the way "Dracula" threw off his old, decrepit form when he came from the coffin like it was a cloak or something.

But..."I release you"...???????? Can you simply release someone from vampirism? :confused:

And for those of you who've seen it...what do you think of their idea of who Dracula really is? The silver...and where the fear of it originates? I thought it was kinda weak.

[topol_sheap]

I saw pet cemetary 2 once... that was truely sh*te. I don;t remember much about it as I wasn;t really on the planet when I saw it... must have beenabout 6 years ago....

[Nathan]

Excellent choice for the thread...

Strung up bunnies and an abusive step-father. What a mockery! :mad:

[Jason of Khem]

THE SATANIC RITES OF DRACULA - 1973

A sad ending to the partnership of Messrs Cushing and Lee in their most famous roles.

As if dragging the Count into the Glam-Rock era of Dracula A.D. 1972 wasn't bad enough, Satanic Rites turns into a Bond-spoof.

The film was that bad, that Lee hung up his cape and so missed playing Dracula in the following year's nearly as dismal, Kung Fu / Vampire flick, THE LEGEND OF THE 7 GOLDEN VAMPIRES.

[Dark Mark]

Teen Slasher Flicks

I hate all of them. Banal by the numbers drivel, populated by unlikely two dimensional blond muppets and nerds.

[Lady Marie]

Dark Man,
No greater truth has ever been spoken! Teenage slasher chicks are a hopeless breed. Every Mom should teach their teenage daughters the following:
1. Every strange sound does not need to be investigated.
2. If you feel that you MUST check-it-out, at least remove those 5" stiletto high heels first. Few damsels in distress have thought to remove their shoes to hasten their escape.
3. A weapon would be nice, at least pull out a can of hairspray and a Zippo. Or learn to take-out a knee with one simple kick. The ole groin-kick doesn't always work, but it's hard to chase someone when you only have one knee.
4. If you think that you have killed your boogie-man, why not put him through that woodchipper in the garage just to be sure. At least pull out that acetone nail polish remover from your purse, saturate the victim, and use that Zippo we talked about earlier.
5. Sometimes you can intimidate your opponent by shouting in an Exorcist-like voice, "I'm PMSin' right now, buddy, you REALLY don't wanna mess with me!" This one works on boyfirends/husbands as well. If not, see #3-4.

[Dark Mark]

You have really thought about this Marie, which is a little worrying. Unfortunately the writers and directors haven't. There is an even worse genre of movie out now, films which seek to parody the teen slasher flick such as Scary Movie. For an intelligent teen horror film try Ginger Snaps which features Lycanthropy and wit.

Mark
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I'm gonna be naughty, I'm gonna be a naughty vampire god
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[Storm]

Teen slasher movies?

Anyone ever see The Burning? Oh my what a humdinger of a lousy movie! The only good part was...er...nope, there wasn't one, and to think it was banned here for ages :eek:

Also saw John Carpenters Vampyres a few moons ago which is a few steps up from The Burning, but wouldn't make my recommendations list. Interesting idea on the origin though, it was an exorcism gone wrong, sorry to say that was the high point of the movie! :D

<FONT COLOR="#660000" SIZE="1">[ 07-31-2001 02:15 PM: Message edited 1 time, lastly by Storm ]</font>

[Lagula Longarm]

I have to agree with you Storm, as my Irish mother in law would say...It was frigging awful
I can't think of any good things to say about the film ....so I won't.

Another crap film I had the misfortune to rent out was mission to mars aarrggghhhh to think I wasted nearly two hours of my life watching that s**t :mad:

calm....calm....think happy thoughts....ahhhhhh..

Ok I think I'm fine again now....... smile.gif

[Jason of Khem]

It must be crap horror film season on English telly at the moment.

Last Friday I watched Clive Barker's "Nightbreed" which was about as scary as The Clangers

Also Channel 5 are having a season of Dean Koontz films on Monday nights. So far I've seen Intensity and Mr Murder which were both bobbins.

However, to balance things out one of the stations showed a couple of good old hammy-Hammer horror films from the 1960s over the weekend.

Christopher Lee in the 1966 Dracula sequel - Prince of Darkness and Peter Cushing reprising his role as the good Doctor in "Frankenstein Created Woman".

Jason

[Canker]

Hey I liked Nightbreed! *L* :D I also have to admit that as "lousy" as it was I liked John Carpenter's Vampires. :D :D

[Ema]

One of his very few books I liked was Cabal (Nightbreed), the other one which escapes me was about a rug.. Weaveworld? anyhoo...the movie was ok, but again as always, the book is so much better!

Hammer Films.. the best!!

Mission to Mars... wasn't that a comedy with the Tool Time fella? LOL or am I thinking of that other one with the Big Name stars? For JC's Vampires.. well, lol... no comment!

And have to go with Dark Mark on the Teen Slasher/any movie with a Roman Numeral, etc behind it..lol Some movies are better left.... period!

[Storm]

I enjoyed Cabal too, but for me the film seemed to miss the point and bored me silly as well :mad:

Anyone seen a film called Bad Taste? An awful film really, but I can't help watching it for the comedy value :D

[Jason of Khem]

Haven't seen Bad Taste all the way through, but I saw a Channel 4 documentary about it a couple of years ago.

David Cronenburg has made some real stinkers in his career - Scanners, Videodrome and Rabid.

[Dark Mark]

I'm reading Cabal at the moment and it is far better than the film Nightbreed.
I think Clive Barker's books don't translate too well to film partly because they are so viseral and I have always found that horror works better for me when it is implied requiring the use of my imagination rather than splashed across the screen.
The only exception so far for me is Hell Raiser which is easily the equal to the novella The Hellbound Heart.

<FONT COLOR="#660000" SIZE="1">[ 08-15-2001 08:40 AM: Message edited 1 time, lastly by Dark Mark ]</font>

[Jason of Khem]

Hellraiser was a good film in its day but as for the sequels. :eek:

Film 2 was a re-write of the first one.
Hell on Earth was mediocre and as for Hellraiser IV being set on a spaceship in the future, talk about ripping off Alien.

My mate told me he'd seen the bloody awful Hellraiser V "Inferno" aka - Straight to Video which had Pinhead in for all of a couple of minutes.

Sequel News - Hellraiser VI "Hellseeker" is currently in production.

[Canker]

Well if and when another sequel comes out for Hellraiser I hope that it's better than 2-4 :mad: :mad:

Must admit..... the first one rocked! :D Plus if you notice... it was the most gory of the whole series.

[Lagula Longarm]

If my memory serves me right Clive Barker was involved with the first film, and then he washed his hands of the sequals.
Hence the first was definatley the best.

[Storm]

Hellraiser was a great film and was definately equal to the novella, but just to echo the thoughts of everyone else the sequels were awful :mad: To be honest I didn't know they'd made a fifth one let alone working on the sixth, it seems to be going the same was as Friday the 13th and Halloween.
That's always had me puzzled, Halloween 3 Season of the Witch, no Michael Myers yet straight back in the forth :confused: Was that some kind of horror interlude :confused: :confused:
In general I think great horror books make awful horror movies, there are a few exceptions, but not enough for my liking.

I think if the did make a Necroscope movie The Master would have to be heavily involved in most/all aspects of it, lest it be butchered :eek:

<FONT COLOR="#660000" SIZE="1">[ 08-16-2001 04:13 AM: Message edited 1 time, lastly by Storm ]</font>

[Dark Mark]

I wasn't even going to mention the sequels. Far from washing his hands of them Clive is credited as Producer on Hellraiser II & III and Executive Producer on IV which suggests some involvement to me

Mark