Favourite Stupid Questions

[Nathan]

I just got pulled over for speeding a while ago.

The cop walks up to the window and asks, "Did you not see me there buddy?"

Oh yeah...I saw you! I just wanted an effin tickit!!

[Storm]

A classic one from when I was a wee liddle vamp and I'd been a bad boy My mum used to say "Do you want me to slap you?"

Hmmm, yep, oh yes please, really hard around the earhole, or better yet on my backside where it's really gonna sting

[Lady Marie]

I have been a nurse for 18 years, and often have to perform certain procedures that involve needles and other bodily invasive devices (wicked, maniacal laugh..oops, er, maintain professionalism.) Inevitably, a patient will ask:

"You're not going to hurt me, are you?"

No, of course not. Boring a needle through the flesh in search of a vein is quite pleasurable. A silicone/rubber tube shoved through your urethra and into your bladder will make you want to buy me things. I'm going to thrust this garden hose down your nose, through your esophagus, and into your stomach, then hook you up to a suction machine, and you will see God!

[Johno]

Following Naths train of thought

Police pulls you over:
Police: do you know how fast you where going?

Answer: You tell me, you were the one trying to keep up!

Boom boom

Johno

[Lady Rissa]

Ooh, had to get in on this thread. I work for the local cable tv company, and everyday, after I answer the phone, someone always has to say,
"Are you a real person?" Well, duh!
I usually answer, "Why yes I am, and I am happy to say that no part of me automated". [img]tongue.gif[/img]

[Vavara the Hag]

The best one I've had to date was at work too! This girl came into my salon, sat down and said "Can you make me look like Jennnifer Aniston from Friends?"

Before my brain had engaged itself, my mouth had replied.."This is a pair of scissors I'm holding Love, not a magic wand!"

OOPS Heheheh

Jen