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Brian Lumley.com

Work colleagues good or bad you decide ?

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Just to add to the Big Brother feeling I'd like to post this topic in which I would like you to bitch and moan about people,work mates and others in genaral cos if I don't get an outlet soon I'm gonna burst.

 

I'd like to kick off first with the guy who sits opposite me who the other week informed us that quote "Did you know that the Germans started world war 1, I never knew that I saw it on discovery the other day, fancy that starting 2 world wars" this guy gets paid more than me hence my gripe.

 

Good or Bad you decide

A guy who works with me had never even heard of Mr Lumleys work until I started working with him .... I bought him Necroscope for Chrimbo .... he is nearing the end of Deadspeak this very week!!! I reckon thats pretty good going!! :D

 

The rest of them are illiterate buffoons!!!! :mad:

Well, if we're getting things off our chests (damned implants-sorry the gag was there) then I'd just like to say that i hate everyone, I'm not picky. All the people that laugh at me, ignore me or are just better than me and know it, but most of all i hate me so the world's an exciting place full of death and destruction. Oh-and those people who wear the "greebo" trousers from TopShop cos it's in now, hate them, weren't they laughing at me for wearing trousers like that a while ago?! Trying to convert my friend (who some of you have met) to the Lumlian path but he's at uni so has no time to read with all the drinking! Sorry for ranting, going to get my medication now.

  • Author

Dear oh dear miss Red that doesn't sound good at all, I mean everybody ! including yourself well thats just taking hate to new levels, I mean I don't hate that many people myself I just want to moan about some of the absolute TW@!$ I work with.

Relax have a few beers, everything always looks better after a few beers. tongue.gif

I was being trained on a new job by a bint who was talking to a mate about the Ben Affleck film, Pearl Harbour. She was waffling on about the plot and finished up by saying "And it's based on a true story." DOH!!! :rolleyes:

 

Another story was one time she was watching the TV news with her boyfriend and there was a report of the Pope visiting his home country of Poland.

A huge crowd had turned out to meet the Pope and she turned to her boyfriend and asked "Why are people cheering and waving to him. Is he the King of Poland?"

 

Still, she was from Wigan, so you can't expect too much from a Pie-eater.

  • Author

Feeling a bit torn today, I've just found out that the irritating bloke who plauges my working existence is off all week dew to wait for it, gall bladder stones and I hear that it's meant to be very painful as he has to pass them out if you know what I mean.

 

Now here's my problem do I

1-gloat and laugh at the poor guy as all I've been doing recently is wishing him ill fortune.

2-Feel sorry for him cos nobody deserves that kind of pain just for being irritating.

3-Explore this possibly new psychic ability of mine and use it to become rich and powerful in the world of men.

1 and 3, definitely, don't buckle to sympathy just when your prayers have been answered! Always remember that he deserved it and to keep your powers under wraps, these tiny humans would only fear it. ;)

I wouldn't wish anything bad like that on any of my work colleagues, but as the saying goes everything happens for a reason so maybe it's just what he deserves for being so irritating!

 

Though having said that there are a few people who I work with who are so irritating that a small, minor affliction to give them some time off, get them out of my hair and give me some peace would be quite nice!

 

You know the kind, their work is always sloppy, missing off vital information and winging whe you take it back to be completed properly so that you can do your bit. Hey, they're the ones who got it wrong not me, why is it my fault when I know that they've been told time and time again to get it right and they know what information is necessary, it's their job to provide it!

 

How do these people still have jobs when there are so many capable people out there who can't get employment?

  • 1 month later...

OK, here I am "Johnny Come Lately" again, but reading this string of posts I just had to add in one of my co-worker weasel experiences.

 

I used to share an office with a little weiner who was incompetent to the Nth degree but he was really good at kissing the 'ol boss behind. He would sit at his desk and listen in to my phone calls and my conversations with the guys I had working for me and then when he would hear that we had solved a major customer issue or anything good he would dart out of the office and run to the boss's office to break the good news to the boss about how "we" fixed this problem.

 

Would really get me PO'ed. So I decided to get the little weasel. I got to the office early one day and took an old printer toner cartridge, broke it open and took the toner dust and put it on the ear piece of his phone, (black office phone so he couldn't see it).

 

Well, he gets to the office and I paged him to a fake phone number, he calls, gets toner all over his ear, has no idea its there. So I am trying to not die laughing, and then here is the kicker. Our boss calls an emergency meeting to discuss a high profile customer visiting the office.

 

Needless to say, the Weasel got to go into a very big meeting with a black ear.

 

Childish I know. But man did it feel good to get the little Behind Kisser. tongue.gif

Aaaarrrrgggggg :mad:

 

I have been at my job for 4 years at the end of August. I know my job extremely well, more than some people who have been there longer. I was asked by our training department to train someone on a certain program - I'm the only one in my office who is fluent in this program. Well, the woman I was training the other day tried to correct me and tell me how to do my job. Hello, I know how to do my job - I don't need someone who hasn't been thru training yet telling me how to do my job.

 

Thanks, had to get that out. smile.gif

Go girl!

 

I'm lucky enough to be working with a great bunch of people, who accept and (for some reason I can't work out) like me the way I am, pink hair and all! Making a couple of Lumley converts, and have even let one person there read my own writing.

 

There was a person I disliked, a manager who I upset by being right when he tried to say I'd done something wrong in my first month (!) but he left, so yay me! :D

  • 4 weeks later...

Oohh, Lady Rissa, you hit on a very good one with me. I can't stand when you are training someone and they try to act like they know what they are doing and know more than you who are training them.

 

I was tagged with a nickname that stuck with me for years for letting someone like that have an earfull of my tourettes inspired ranting.... :mad:

  • 4 weeks later...

Needed to rant about something that happened to me today and this seemed to be the place to do it!

Was minding my own business waiting for a bus home today wearing one of my favourite tops-its pink and has a pic of Eeyore on and says 100% lovable across the front-when suddenly a group of kids who had been looking at me shout "100% lovable? I don't think so! More like 1% lovable" Now luckily I was in a good mood and had just been discussing my breasts and so, instead of killing them/getting v.depressed about it, I shouted back "Well I'm probably getting more sex than you!" Which shut them up. I then got on my bus and wrote a poem about it in which I decided they'd all be dead soon NEway. I love happy endings! Bloody trendy assholes.

  • 1 month later...
  • Author

I'm in trouble here folks, the Devil himself has taken the desk opposite me.

I thought the lads were having me on with some of the stories about him but it turns out there all true and I'm now beginning to believe that the prince of darkness really does work in my office.

The facts;

 

Lives on a plot of land right next door to a graveyard, the land used to be part of the graveyard till they built his creepy old Adams family looking house on it.

Has particularly ugly evil looking gargoyles adorning his roof and porch.

He has a secret basement, and for some mysterious reason a cement mixer in his front room.

He has a weird affinity with pentagrams and all such satanic devices.

Has regular photo shoots in the graveyard with various gothic type chicks draped over the grave stones (also note never with the same girl twice)

Favourite read is the big book of torture (how to make your favourite torture device and how best to use it)

He's a quiet shy fellow and my mum always said I should look out for the quiet ones.

He doesn't own a television (I mean come on, how evil is that)

Natural disasters seem to follow him round the world, yet he always manages to stay out of harms way.

He's the bass player and song writer in a band that do tunes about necrophilia and bestiality, which leads to them getting regular beatings at any gigs they do (What kind of fool would play the bass anyway grin.gif )

The only alcohol he drinks is absinth.

He vomits a lot.

For his holly bobs he went to Auschwitz for the second time as he enjoyed his first vistit so much the year before.

 

This little fact has no bearing on the fact that I think he's evil but it amused me so I stuck it in anyway, his surname is an anagram of Lumley.

 

Anyone think they could help please let me know, I've tried the Ghostbusters and that priest guy from the Exorcist but apparently these are only fictional characters dam it.

If only Titus Crow were still around, he'd sort him out.

 

If anything should happen to me in the mean time you'll no where to start looking.

 

Cheers

 

Pete

 

[ October 22, 2003, 07:58 AM: Message edited by: The Helm ]

MOEW!!! sounds cute, right up my alley! Goth, lives near a graveyard, has photo shoots in graveyard, is in a band, likes bondage weeeeeeeeeeeeeee tongue.gif oooh does he have long black hair, or a long black coat?

 

Damn I just thought, I'm not single anymore, maybe I shouldn't be saying stuff like this? lol

 

Sophie

  • Author

Don't think he's a Goth, he don't look like one anyway, although he does wear a long black coat and for some reason I've heard mention of the odd rubber shirt, but I'm convinced he wears the shirts so that blood doesn't stain him while he's slaughtering innocents.

 

He's not particularly dishy either ladies, no long black hair and well you know he's a bit odd looking if you no what I mean.

But what did you expect his mother was probably either a jackal or a goat.

 

[ October 23, 2003, 03:34 AM: Message edited by: The Helm ]

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